


Control and Release

by dragonflower



Category: Free!
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 04:51:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2216481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonflower/pseuds/dragonflower
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Makoto has wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control and Release

Makoto wants Haru.

It eats away at him, corroding him from the inside, burning a hole through his chest. He wants Haru so much his whole body aches, his dick throbbing with need.

He fists his hand in his sheets, biting the bottom of his lip, pumping his dick up and down. He comes; Haru’s name a breath on his lips. He see’s darkness and specks of light as he comes down from his orgasm, like the stars him and Haru used to look up at on dark winter nights.

He cleans himself up with a wet towel and throws it into his laundry basket, glad his mother made him start doing his own years ago. He looks out his bedroom window – it faces Haru’s room, Makoto catching a glimpse of his friend.

Want courses down his spine, making him shiver, Haru stretching his lithe and muscular body; his jammers are low on his hips and Makoto wants to run a finger along the edge, slipping his hand inside.

His dick jumps, blood streaming back, Haru leaning forward. Makoto’s hand goes back to his dick and he tugs on it gently, helping the blood circulate. He cups his balls with his other hand, stimulating himself, back arching with need.

Haru stretches, his back rippling with taunt muscles, the heat in Makoto’s stomach pooling and growing. Burning him to the core.

He wants to lick up the white pane of Haru’s neck as he tilts it, extending his muscles. Bite the juncture between Haru’s neck and shoulder, leaving a mark.

Makoto rubs the tip of his dick, messing his thumb in pre-come. He spreads the fluid over his shaft, his movement slicker – stickier. His hand speeds up as Haru bends over, showing Makoto the curve of his ass.

Pressure builds in his stomach, a tightening in his balls snapping as Haru turns around, his eyes locking onto Makoto’s. He comes in hot spurts, his jizz hitting the wall. His body shivers from head to toe, his eyes shut. He rests his head against the window and takes a deep breath. He looks up, Haru still staring. His face unreadable.

Makoto can’t breathe then, the reality of what he did crashing through him, coating him with shame. Fear spreads across his eyes, Haru’s look unflinching.

Time stands still until Haru closes his curtains, a horrible sense of dread filling Makoto; breathing hurts, his throat tight with every gasp.

Makoto breathes in slowly. He holds the breath for a few seconds then releases it. Panic ebbs away gradually until he crumples onto the floor, his face hot with humiliation. He hits his head against the wall, swearing.

He knows he’s messed up.

Hate creeps into his chest, anger gnawing at him. How did he let himself go so far? He’s good at controlling his urges; keeping his feelings for Haru locked deep inside. Makoto toeing around Haru, not wanting to break the friendship he covets.

A knock on the door startles Makoto, making him jump. Hope flushes through him as he thinks it might be Haru. Everything will be okay.

It’s not him. His mom’s gentle voice comes through the door. It’s supper time.

Makoto quickly cleans himself up and goes downstairs. Haru never shows.

At school the next day, Haru doesn’t look at Makoto. He doesn’t say hi with his half-nod. He doesn’t wait for Makoto at lunch.

Guilt and shame churn inside Makoto’s stomach, making him feel sick. Haru ignores him at swim practice and Makoto feels like he’s drowning, his own ignominy pulling him under.

Haru leaves practice right away, pulling his pants over his wet jammers. Makoto hurries after him, catching him outside.

He reaches for his friend, resting a hand on Haru’s shoulder; Haru flinches. He pulls away from Makoto’s grasp, leaving Makoto clutching air.

“Haru—”

“Don’t,” is all Haru says.

Haru walks away and Makoto feels himself falling down, hands biting into the asphalt; his heart clenches, a cold wind spreading across his chest that no amount of heat can melt.

It’s dark out when Makoto makes his way home, every footstep weighed. He shuts himself in his room without a hello to Ran or Ren and goes to his window. Haru’s curtains are still closed and Makoto wants to forget what he has done.


End file.
